New Jersey Needs better PR
Meet me there
Next up on the Milk & Mayhem Tour is The Cranford Bookstore in Cranford, NJ, with Lauren Smith Brody, author of The Fifth Trimester.
July 10th at 6pm
1 South Ave East
Cranford, NJ 07016
Tickets here.
Have you ever noticed that all major shows display a disdain for New Jersey?
SATC does it. So does How I Met Your Mother. Girls does it. As does Friends.
The subtext is always: NYC = cool, interesting, elegant. NJ = boring, weird, trashy.
I remember watching Coyote Ugly, where NJ is portrayed as this FAR AWAY place. They made her seem uncultured and naive. Meanwhile, this girl was in New Jersey. She could have just taken the train to her job.
And then I started spending a lot of time in NJ.
And I was so utterly confused.
Because NJ is BEAUTIFUL. Like so, so, so beautiful. It’s the lushness that stands out to me the most. No wonder it’s the Garden State.
I remember telling a friend that I’ll be staying in Lambertville, NJ over New Hope, PA... (which is just across the river) “you’re staying in.... New Jersey!? WHY” [shock face]
And I notice I do it too.
When I started talking about my New Jersey book shop event, it came out with a DON’T WORRY, IT’S SUPER CLOSE TO NYC, IN FACT IT’LL BE FASTER FOR YOU TO GET THERE THAN TO BROOKLYN, I DID THE MATH.
So I’m making a commitment to the people of New Jersey. To celebrate their beautiful state.
Because you know what?
New Jersey’s paid leave is far more generous than New York’s.
And when I mean far more generous, I mean dramatically more generous. Their disability payouts are almost $1000 more PER WEEK than NY. And they let you stack your leave end to end, providing up to 6 months in benefits. (I cover this in my program)
The places that do the structural work (the policy, the protections, the systems that actually hold mothers) often live in the shadow of more glamorous neighbors.
New Jersey has one of the country’s most generous paid leave systems. And yet NJ gets caricatured while NY gets the press.
NYC is getting a lot of incredible praise right now due to the Mamdani momentum. Rightfully so. But something I will never, ever do is look down on New Jersey.
So to offset some of that asymmetry, I’m hosting a book shop event in NJ. (and yes it’s SUPER CLOSE TO NYC)
The owners reached out to me, and it was one of the most effortless stops to set up. And there was only one person I wanted to be in that room with me.
And that person is my friend Lauren.
Lauren Smith Brody wrote The Fifth Trimester. The book that opened the door. Everything in this genre since has been building on what she made possible.
I wanted to be in a room with her, in the state that unceremoniously leads on the policy our work is about. So that’s what we’re doing.
I consider The Fifth Trimester the first substantive career-and-motherhood guide of its kind. I read it while postpartum, on my breastmilk-soaked bed and naptrapped, and Lauren’s words gave me so much comfort.
It was incredible when, years later, we started working together on Chamber of Mothers. That’s when I really got to know her.
What I love about Lauren is her stubborn commitment to a solutions-oriented approach. She’ll also have all the data, and I mean ALL the data, but she doesn’t spend too much time dwelling and agonizing there, instead she focuses on small tangible tools you can deploy today.
This is actually quite uncommon in the motherhood space. It’s also something we share.
Another thing I really respect and appreciate about Lauren is that you can put her in any hostile territory and she will find a way to get them all to agree with her. She’s incredibly diplomatic, relational, and generally does not go scorched earth on anyone.
We share this quality 50% of the time, depending on whether I’m in luteal.
She’s focused, firm but kind, and generally the most well-adjusted human being I know.
What people may not know about her is that while she’s a committed advocate for caretakers, she’s also carrying a very heavy caretaking load herself, requiring a lot of travel and sustained capacity. But she’ll say “bring it on,” rides the waves, and let the current of life move through her hands and into her work.
So this is the room I want to be in on July 10th.
In New Jersey, the state that does the work. With Lauren, the woman who does the work.
Our conversation will be moderated by Hon. Molly Hurley Kellett, a NJ superior court judge.
The Cranford Bookstore
July 10th at 6pm
1 South Ave East
Cranford, NJ 07016
Send this to someone in New Jersey. Help me fill the room. I’ll see you there.
Summer 2026 Tour Dates & Locations
July 7 — Doylestown, PA: The Doylestown Book Shop with Blair Thornburgh (book editor/collaborator)
July 10 — Cranford, NJ: The Cranford Bookstore with Lauren Smith Brody (the Fifth Trimester)
July 11 — Brooklyn, NY: Café con Libros with Mel judson (book cover designer) - more details coming soon
July 15 — Austin, TX: Lark & Owl Booksellers with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin (Real Self-Care)
July 17 — Salt Lake City, UT: The King’s English Bookshop with Lindsay White (The Little Milk Bar)
July 22 — Seattle, WA: Armoire - event on Washington paid leave with Seattle Chamber of Mothers
July 24 — Los Angeles, CA: Private Backyard Event with Britta Bushnell (Transformed by Birth) and Mary Van Geffen (Parenting a Spicy One)
July 29 — San Diego, CA: Meet Cute Bookshop
August 8 — Encinitas, CA: Book launch party hosted at Four Moons Spa (Invite Only)
As a NJ native, we embrace our bad PR because it’s already too crowded here ;) It’s an inside joke here to not let the secret out how great it is! Thanks for seeing us and the nice spotlight.
I hear you—I lived in Princeton and briefly lambertville, and they are gorgeous. To be fair, these are not the city/nyc side of Jersey, they are exurban rural parts more comparable to upstate Ny. The city side has been ravaged by the worst of colonizing ecological disaster in places, and the worst of policy. Ofc this is also true for ny.
Like many New Yorkers I considered moving to Jersey during covid and the property taxes are famously astronomical such that it’s unaffordable in many areas, and nyc’s free childcare for all made it cheaper to live here w a family at the time. Just to say, yay for good policy everywhere. And nj deserves some better pr and more care, and nyc deserves some of its pr right now too :)